I hate you, then I love you. And I hate you again, then I love you more.
the world made me cold, you made me water. one day we’ll be clouds.
and you get thought of everyday but not in a good way
and you let me leave and you almost killed me but i didn’t die.
the little things you forget, kill me
What you gave me was a reason. Not an excuse. Because there’s sex, making love and fucking. And then there’s you.
for all the tough times and happy times.
coz life is better when you’re drunk. :)
Seems to me that there are two kinds of guys in this world.
Guys that I like, and guys that like me. There is no overlap in this Venn Diagram.
Guys That Like Me. They could be ugly, they could be very hot. They range from smart but not deep to dumb but earnest. And by “range” I mean they are either one of those things. They think that I am smart and/ or pretty and/ or cute and/ or fun to be around and/ or chill and/ or tolerable but mostly because they either aren’t looking for more than a brunette who is conscious or someone who fits the freakishly-detailed but completely bloodless list they made for themselves when they first started ‘seriously looking.’
Guys that like me like to buy me things, compliment me, cuddle, know my tastes, return my calls, ask me probing questions, do awesome sex shit to me without demanding reciprocation, do awesome sex shit to me period, and pretty much anything else I wish a guy I actually liked would do to me.
Guys that like me want to hang out with me more often than I want to hang out with them. This is where it begins to be a problem. Typically these guys are needy, or in reality that’s just how I perceive them because they are s000 over-invested based on how little they actually know me.
Guys that like me trick me into seeing them longer than I otherwise would with the following tactics: a) compliments, b) elaborate, often bewildering dates (“Wait, we’re going to bar number five tonight? Why did you pack a lunch? Why are we meeting in gateway?”), c) back massages, d) that sex shit I mentioned earlier, e) boredom/ idle curiosity.
Guys that like me will never win because as it turns out at the moment of truth, no, I don’t want to ______ your ______, ever. I’m not some kind of diva bitch, but damn, I can’t feel attracted to you if I feel like you’re obsessed with me for reasons that have absolutely noting to do with ‘me.’
Guys That I Like. They don’t even have to be attractive. Honestly. In fact they probably aren’t, which is why my walls were down far enough to allow me to get on their hook. On that note, there is something really quirky about them that I find attractive — they had a weird niche minor in college, they have an obsessive and bizarre yet respectable hobby, or maybe they’re just really dumb and cute.
Without a doubt they over-communicate, whether it’s by spending 10+ hours a day on FB, texting incessantly, or hopefully both. This is crucial because it (probably falsely) makes me feel like we are ‘getting to know each other’ and that some level of investment/ dependency (not in the creepy way) is being fostered.
Guys that I like seem to actually understand the things about me that are likable. That I’m smart and interesting and sassy and loyal. Guys that I like seem to actually understand the things about me that you could only know from spending time around me and actually paying attention to me. That I get anxious when watching movies because I can’t wait to find out what happens, that I don’t check my mail because I’m afraid to see a bill even though I’m fine with paying it, that I always drink a beer in the shower when I’m getting ready to go out.
Guys that I like will always like me back, but will never admit to themselves — or to me — that I am what they are looking for because it’s not as easy being with a dumbass that hangs on their every word. Because I will call them on their bullshit and tell them when they are being disrespectful. Because my demand for reciprocity makes them feel intimidated. But mostly because whatever it is that makes them interesting and deep also makes them incapable of commitment and selfish and generally just really awful human beings, to me and to probably everyone else.
So in conclusion… if you are by some miracle the middle ground between these two points, um… call me?
And I have no need of you now.
i do everything. i only live once.
my life will be flashing before my eyes
i wanna make it
worth watching :-)))
ok then,. will type my thoughts away!
There are 2 ways to look at life. Actually, that’s not accurate; i suppose there are a thousands of ways to look at life. But I tend to dwell on two of them. The first view is that nothing stays the same and that nothing is inherently connected, and that the only driving force on everyone’s life is entropy. The second is that everything pretty much stays the same (more or less) and that everything is completely connected, even if we don’t realize it.
There are many mornings when I feel certain that the first perspective is rufutably true: I wake up, I feel the inescapable oppression of the sunlight pouring through my bedroom window, and I am struck by the fact that I am alone. And that everyone is alone. And that everything I understood seven hours ago has already changed and that I have to learn everything once more.
I guess I am not a morning person.
However, that feeling passes. In fact it’s usually completely gone before lunch. Every new minute of every new day seems to vaguely improve. And I suspect that’s because the alternative view- that everything is ultimately like something else and that nothing and no one is autonomous- maybe probably the greater truth. That math does check out; that numbers do add up, that I am not alone.The connections might not be hard-wired into the superstructure to the universe, but it feels like they are…..
……to be continued.
I pass you almost everyday. Our eyes meet every now and again
and we nod our mutually agreeable greeting. but-
can’t we just KISS.UNDRESS. MAKE LOVE?
cause i kinda wanna be more than friends you know!!
I was never unfaithful.
I am sorry for that night.
First thing, I plan on keeping myself alive
second, i’m going to be happy
And as much as you torture me inside
not one single piece of me will die
You can’t beat me
I’m too strong for your eyes these days
Tough as steel
YOU cannot break me
no one ever will
Nothing is faster than the speed of thought
I can look at anything and think of you
you are perpetually on my mind